To the Doctor's Office We Go!

Well today was such a good day. Why? Because I went to the Endocrinologist and came out with an absolutely fabulous A1C reading of 6.5!!

 Every 3 months, us T1D's have to venture out to see our doctors and get our A1C checked, as well as many other lovely delightful bloody labs. The A1C measures your blood sugar average over the previous 3 months. Normal A1C falls within the upper 5's to upper 6's. So I am in a pretty sweet spot with my result today.  I've been in the 6's now for the last nine months. I'm so happy with how far I've come! I work so hard to keep T1D things in check. It doesn't work always, but I keep trying! I think that's the difference. Don't give up! T1D can be so frustrating that way. You do things one way and get a certain result for your efforts. Try the exact same thing the next day, and your results will likely be completely different.

At times, these appointments can bring on a lot of anxiety and worry. I have had instances where I would almost throw up with the nerves if I knew my A1C wasn't going to be as good as last time. You want your doctor to listen and understand that even when you try, sometimes your body just doesn't respond how you wish it would. I'm grateful that I have a wonderful Endo! I don't feel nervous going to him, even if I think my results will be awful. He teaches, he encourages, he gives honest answers with no excuse solutions. He gives me choices in my care and we both get excited about it when I figure things out by my own experience. We get along great, and I pray he never retires! 

Every appointment, I get this little paper printout with my A1C result on it. I have started to staple all the good results together and I keep these little papers in my wallet. It serves as a reminder that I CAN do this! I can work hard another day. I can try to be healthy another day. I can walk those extra few steps because they will help my blood sugar! I can prick my finger or take that injection one more time. I can do it because this is the result I can have if I don't give up!

Us T1D's are solid stock. Tough cookies. And that's a good thing because we literally CAN'T give up! Stupid lazy freeloader dead pancreas! 

Yay for my 6.5!!! Have a lovely evening sweethearts! 

Welcome To Utah!

Good Afternoon Sweethearts! 

The hubby is sleeping, the kiddo is watching a movie, so I figured that now would be an awesome time to share my 3rd close call story. I have to say I have been looking forward to this post because it meant that I could dig into some of my old pictures and revisit some very happy memories from way back when!

(Michael and I in Yellowstone on our way to Utah in 2005)

As I said in my first post, I'm from Minnesota. I moved to Utah in 2005 when I was just 22 years old because I was long distance dating the incredibly handsome man pictured with me above. Moving to Utah to be with my Michael was actually one of the biggest and happiest adventures I've ever been on. We planned the when, of course, and in late June of 2005, Michael flew out to Minnesota so we could drive back to Utah. We packed up as much of my stuff as would fit in my little 97 Mercury Sable Wagon, and we drove across hills, plains, valleys, and mountains, and landed in our new life together. 

Part of what made this a huge adventure was also the fact that I was driving away from everyone in my circle of family and friends who knew about my T1D and who helped me take care of myself.  Michael knew some things about my T1D, but he didn't have the day to day experience of it like myself and my family did. Nobody in his family has it, so I was his only experience in seeing it. Poor Michael got to learn from this experience about just how dangerous and unpredictable that T1D can be.  

A few weeks after I moved to Utah, I was realizing that I was running low on my supplies for my insulin pump. I had started pumping in November of the previous year. Being new to Utah, I hadn't set myself up with a diabetes supplier yet since I was spending all my time looking for a job and a place to live. (I had tried to find a job before the move, but nothing worked out. So all that waited till I got here and it was so incredibly stressful, and the stress was definitely not a help to my blood sugars!) Since I was getting low on supplies, I decided to stretch what I had and it wasn't working out so well. I was one of those people who really should have changed my pump's infusion sets out every 2 days instead of the recommended 3 days. During this time, I was wearing a site for a week or more. I would pretty much wear it till it fell off and couldn't be taped on any longer. My blood sugar checks were also getting to be fewer and fewer as the days went on and as my readings ran higher. In case you aren't associated with the purchasing of diabetes supplies, let me give you an idea of the cost. I didn't have insurance when I bought my pump. I paid $6,000 for it over a time of 5 years. Without insurance, infusion sets and other pump supplies can cost over $1,000 per month. Test strips without insurance can cost well over $50 for a box of only 50 strips. And don't even get me started on the cost of insulin! It is insane! With insurance it is cheaper, but if you are an insured pumper you are usually still spending hundreds out of pocket each month for everything. 

One night, I was down to just a couple of infusion sets left. My blood sugars had run pretty high by this time. My infusion set's tubing had gotten caught on something and my set came out about halfway. I was so discouraged and not sure what to do. So what did I do? I acted on panic in the moment and it was stupid. I pushed the site back in, and taped it on. I know many of you are shaking your heads in horror, but remember I was new to pumping at that time. I had been doing it less than a year. Since the set is made of plastic, the insulin delivery part (cannula) bent when I pushed it back in. My body wasn't getting the insulin. 

 I got sick again, as tends to happen when stuff like this strikes. We went to the doctor and he sent us over to the hospital. We got there and I was in the beginning stages of DKA. Poor Michael, nothing like bringing your girlfriend all the way to Utah just to learn the hard way about her disease! The hospital had given me some medication. I don't remember what it was, but it started making my body extremely restless. I couldn't sit still and my arms ached. After telling them they needed to give me something to make that stop, they must have given me a sedative of some kind because I don't remember anything till waking up in my hospital room. I was only there for a couple of days thankfully. We had gotten me there in time before things got too out of hand like before. 

After I got out of the hospital, I knew I needed to figure things out. I knew I had been stupid. I knew I couldn't put myself through that and I especially couldn't put Michael through that again. As much as I didn't want to do it, I went to my church to assist me in getting my supplies until I found myself in a better financial and employment situation. I had found a job by then, but I didn't have insurance yet and it was a job I hated. I knew I just needed to be in a job with good pay and good insurance. I was at that first job for a very short time because I had found a different one working with a diabetes supplier. They had excellent insurance and I finally got myself on track with making sure I had what I needed. There were some tight times no doubt. I had to stretch things sometimes. But I never went without and I never made myself stretch nearly so far as to make it unsafe for me. From that point, and till now at 10 years later, I have never had to go back to the hospital. I have had times where I've had ketones, and I've been pretty sick, but it never got to the point of DKA again. I treated at home as best I could and thankfully it was good enough to keep me out of the hospital. Sometimes even when you work so hard to keep T1D things on the straight and narrow, DKA will still sneak up on you. It isn't always because of some mistake you made. I just ended up learning the hard way! Lucky me....Ha!  

Michael began to learn so much about T1D after he saw the seriousness of what can happen, and how fast things can turn life threatening. He's been such a support to me. He is always asking me what my blood sugar is, he smiles with me and shares in my high five when my A1C is good, he truly wants to know what I do to stay healthy. Heaven definitely smiled upon me when Michael was given to me. He's blessed my life in so many ways, and I am glad I can depend on him to support me through this journey as a T1D! 

I am no longer on the pump. Mine broke after the warranty was up, and so I am back to injections. But I am doing better now than I ever have before. I think I might make that my next post after all of this extreme seriousness. You might wonder why I chose to share these 3 stories first in this blog. It is a lot of reality to begin with! My reason is for awareness first and foremost. However, my biggest reason is to show where I have come from personally. I know more now. I work harder to stay healthy now. I have a supportive doctor now who makes me accountable while not making me feel like a failure if I mess up. I have explained to people before that T1D can kill you. It effects every single aspect of your life and of your body's function! I have had situations in life where I've had to fight with the insurance company or where I have had to stand up for my need for my medication and supplies because I refuse to go backward in my T1D. If I don't have these things, this disease will kill me. I have said that before, and felt like it fell upon deaf ears. People treated me like I was being dramatic and inflating the seriousness of the situation. I know all too well what T1D is capable of. I have learned a lot. I at times learned through making EXTREMELY stupid mistakes, but I learned. 

Now I get to be a voice for others who are struggling like I did! It makes me happy to do that.

Have a great afternoon Sweethearts!

Adventures in Personal Stupidity

In every T1D's life, there is a period of denial that happens. It can be denial about actually having it, or denial about what one has to do all day to stay in control of blood sugars and life in general. Usually during this time, a T1D just doesn't want to have anything to do with insulin or blood or needles. It is a very big and frustrating job to be your own pancreas. It takes its toll after a while because there are no breaks whatsoever. It is so constant, but it has to be. 

My diagnosis was my close call story #1. Now I need to share my close call #2 story which is also my "denial" story. I was a late bloomer in the denial department, but you can bet I learned a lot from my own personal stupidity. 

When I was 20 or so years old, I think 20, I went through some pretty intense depression and hatred toward T1D. As many can relate, it was mostly financially motivated. I was going to school, working, and I was no longer on my parent's insurance because the policy didn't insure us kids after a certain age. I was working at a shoe store where I had an extremely inadequate policy that covered almost nothing. 

In my situation at the time, I didn't bring in much money at all. My insulin was basically bought with a discount card that didn't take off nearly enough. My wonderful parents helped me where they could and surprised me with a vial or two of insulin when they had enough to do so. I come from a large family though, and insulin can break you if you have to pay a large copay or hundreds of dollars out of pocket like I had to.

If you know me well, you know I don't ask for help if I can find even the slightest way of taking care of business on my own. In my frustration with costs and with having T1D in the first place, I started taking very little insulin. It was nowhere near enough. Some days, I would just inject a little bit of Lantus (long acting insulin) and then go about my day eating like a normal person would but without any Humalog (short acting insulin) to cover the food I was eating.  I couldn't afford it, so I just wasn't going to take it. I wasn't checking my blood sugars like I should have been. Some days, I didn't check at all. I didn't want to see the number, and I especially didn't want to know how high it was. Worst of all, I wasn't sharing any of this with my parents. Big no-no, I know that now. I was just so angry with it all, and with the fact that I couldn't seem to do it on my own.

Please know that I don't personally remember hardly any of the story as I was completely out of it during the majority of it. I can say, I'm glad I don't remember it too. I think that's part of God's mercy toward me! It was a very embarrassing situation.

One day, my Mom had come up to my room, I think to wake me up for the day. She told me she came back downstairs and told my Dad that I was up in my room talking to people that weren't there. Naturally concerning, no doubt! They must have figured out what was going on because they got me out of the house and drove me to the hospital that was about 10 minutes away. In the car, I remember even now playing with my cell phone in the back seat. One of the very few memories I have of the day. Well my parents tell me that it wasn't my cell phone. It was my Dad's work glove that I was thinking was my cell phone. They said I was sitting back there just chattering to absolutely nobody during the entire ride.

We arrived at the hospital, which I don't remember, but I do remember being in the ER and asking for ice chips and water. Then my memory goes again. My parents tell me that when I asked for ice chips and they wouldn't give me any, I got very combative. I was hitting people, swearing at people, and finally they had to restrain me in the bed. I am so glad I don't remember that part. I don't swear normally, and I definitely don't beat people up in my everyday life!

I was in VERY severe DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis). My blood sugar had been so high for so long, and my body developed a very huge amount of ketones. Ketones are blood acids that form when your body doesn't have any insulin. It makes a T1D extremely sick and is a potentially fatal complication when not treated immediately. Mine was definitely not treated immediately due to my own personal stupidity. I was pretty far into it, considering I was hallucinating and having all these other horrible symptoms. The hospital my parents took me to is a fairly small hospital, and I am told that the hospital had to call the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN to ask them how to treat me because they had never seen a case of DKA that had gone that far before. I was far nearer to being in a coma, and with very little chance of coming out of it they told us, than I had been at diagnosis.

The hospital was able to keep me there and treat me after being instructed by the Mayo Clinic. They brought me back and I am so very grateful that they did! I am thankful to my parents for their quick action, and for not killing me themselves after learning what I had kept from them!

Once I was back and myself again, some of the ER nurses who had dealt with me, well they came to see me. I told them I couldn't remember them, but that I was thankful to them for helping me. My Mom tells me that they took her aside and said they would have never known I was the same person by how I acted during my crazy ER encounter. They were surprised that I was a nice person when I had some insulin in me!

Why do I share this story? This story was the turning point for me. I learned that I have no choice but to care about the fact that I have T1D. It isn't going away. If I want to live, I have to take care of it. I hope that some other young person will read this story and not make the same decision that I did. All that I accomplished by my denial and rebellion was a very large hospital bill.

Moral of the story, TAKE YOUR INSULIN and CHECK YOUR BLOOD SUGARS!

Don't learn the hard way just how important these things are to you living a normal and happy life.

Well, that's about it for Close Call Story #2. I'll post the 3rd one later, but for now it is about bedtime. Sweet dreams sweethearts!

Thank You Sweetheart!

This has been an extremely busy week in the T1D community. I think everyone knows who this dear little sweetheart is that I have pictured above. Kycie Terry, age 5. She was diagnosed early this year with T1D and had a very traumatic brain injury as a result of the T1D. I remember the night I first saw her story. I started reading, and then I started bawling crocodile tears for this beautiful child who they thought wouldn't make it through the night. I remember thinking how much I wished that she would make it.

For months, I laughed and cried with this family as Kycie learned once again how to do things like sit up, smile, make sounds, follow people with her eyes and head, and so much more. I anxiously watched for updates when Kycie was well enough to go home with her family, and I understood the issues they had as they learned to live the T1D life. They had so much more to deal with, both T1D and the brain injury combined. But they relied on their faith, and they continued to live and do as a family!

Last Saturday morning, Kycie passed away after a very bad case of pneumonia and pneumothorax. It isn't said if that's what caused it, but she was in the hospital for it that week before she passed. I cried again for this dear child. I cried for her family. They have been through so much in such a short time.

Some have asked me, why do I cry and get so interested in something going on in a person's life, especially when I don't know them personally. I want to answer that question. One unique thing about being a T1D, once you've been diagnosed you become part of this huge supportive family. People who don't know you will come up to you in public and ask you if that's an insulin pump they saw and right there you share survivor stories. People will see you whip out an insulin pen and come up and tell you that they use the same kind and then share how well it is working for them. I'm part of a couple of Facebook groups for members of this great T1D family, and when one of us hurts, we ALL hurt. If one of us needs insulin or supplies, we rally together to provide for the need. It is truly a family! Do we know each other in person? Nope. Do you have to know someone in person to have compassion for their situation? Nope.

So many of us in this great T1D family have been where Kycie was. I've been in DKA 3 times. Almost died all 3 times. I didn't have a brain injury like she did, and that complicated it all so much for the Terry family. But I have been where they've been with T1D, just like so many others have. It is all too real, because we live it everyday.

My point in all this is that I want to say Thank You to this dear sweetheart Kycie, and the Terry family, for helping spread awareness by sharing and being extremely open about their story. I have had so many friends come to me and ask what they can do and what to look for. They aren't fooled by the stereotypes anymore. They know more! Kycie helped save 19 lives that I know of, maybe more, just through the sharing of information about T1D and their story. 19 kids who will live because they were diagnosed when they were. So many miracles and a beautiful legacy.

Thank you sweetheart. I know it isn't enough, but thank you. You've changed my life and how I share my T1D with others. Rest peacefully and watch over your family. They love you, and so do all of us! 

My Diagnosis Story

20 years ago, at age 12, I was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic. My life changed forever! I remember that I had been quite sick. I was throwing up, drinking a lot, peeing a lot, and just feeling generally miserable. The flu was going around pretty good that year. I also remember that I was falling asleep really early in the evening. Like 7:00 or earlier. It wasn't at all like me because I am to this day, a night owl. My Mom took me to the doctor thinking I had the flu or something like it. I was just not getting better like everyone else.

I remember that appointment very well. It was with our pediatrician, Dr. Biery (Pronounced like Berry). I remember her leaving the room to check if my labs came back yet, and I heard them talking in the hallway through the door. I heard her say the word hospital. I remember asking my Mom, "Did she just say hospital?" That freaked me out a little. But the doctor came back in and explained what would happen. We were to go immediately to the hospital. As a child with large family, this was my first ever time having my own room. I honestly LOVED it! I was there for a week, and it was awesome. I had my own tv, room service, and the sweet solitude of being the only occupant in the room! I was hooked up to IV's, less than delightful, but it was the first in a very long list of diabetes related needles to enter my body. This was T1D's first attempt out of 3 now at killing me, and it was nearly successful, but we got me in just in time. I remember them saying that if we had waited, we were hours from me being in a coma or worse.

Eventually, they told me that I would not be leaving the hospital till I could give myself a shot on my own. Being 12, I was old enough to do that stuff on my own. Younger children aren't asked to do that of course, but they are once they are older, you betcha! As most normal children agree, I hated needles passionately! They found a way to make it fun for me. They gave me a vial of saline, a syringe, and a beautiful bright orange. They said orange skin has a similar appearance to human skin, just oranger, so that's why they used it. Do you know what happens when you inject saline into an orange? It squirts right back out at you! As a 12 year old, very easily amused, I had hours of fun in the hospital with my saline drowned orange. But eventually the time came to pull out the insulin IV and get me going on my own shots. I remember the nurse did my first one because I freaked out, convinced it would hurt. In the course of my freaking, she gave me the shot and I didn't even know it. I was shocked! Didn't feel a thing! I remember on my discharge day, I had to be in a room with several doctors and people and I had to give myself a shot in front of them before leaving. Yeah, no pressure! But I did well, if I do say so myself.

I was lucky to go home to a family full of curious and supportive people. My siblings loved watching me do my shots and check my blood sugar. I remember we would count down the numbers on my bg meter till the result appeared. The count was a lot longer back then! 

My doctor then was Robert Larson. I LOVED this guy. He was extremely supportive. I thought I was pretty VIP because I had his pager number and I was calling him every day for the first while to report blood sugars and progress. He really helped set me up to be independent as far as doing all this myself. So grateful for that! His CDE, Colleen, was wonderful as well. She was very kind and helpful. Especially after the "honeymoon phase" (your pancreas's final go before being officially dead) was over and things got a lot harder. When our insurance changed, and we could no longer go to their clinic, both us and them were genuinely sad to no longer be working together. I remember Dr. Larson looking so so sad at my last appointment with him, and I gave him a hug to cheer him up.

Over the last 20 years, my road with T1D has been really really hard. I won't lie. My control over my bg's has been awful for a lot of years now. I never had found another doctor like Dr. Larsen. Nobody supportive and willing to explain things to me. They knew less about T1D back then than they do now, but still, if you can't be supportive to your patients in a general humanity way, please please please don't become a doctor! About 2 years ago, I finally found an endocrinologist who has a teacher's heart. He has been so supportive of me. I finally have A1C readings in the 6's, something I've never really had before. I hope he never retires!!

When I decided to do this post, I asked others what they thought about my T1D and how it effected them back then. I am glad that I did because I learned something knew. I never knew what my bg reading was at diagnosis, but now I know! And it wasn't good.....oye! The following point of view is from my parents:

"Before you were diagnosed with this disease, the flu was going around the house I think in February. Well. everyone got better except for you, you kept on getting worse, started losing weight and missing school, on the days you went to school chances were I had to go get you. Finally I took you to the Doctor and there was where we found out you would be going  to the hospital because your blood sugar was around 840. I called dad to let him know and away we went to Riverside hospital in Mpls. That is where the education started and our love for Dr Larson and his nurse Colleen grew. Although you were so excited having your own hospital room and tv ( the other kids were jealous, worried but jealous). I can remember you had to learn how to do shots with an orange and you seemed to have a wicked gleam every time you poked the orange. I would have loved for you not to have to go through this but, it was a good education and it helped the whole family to learn that when you have a medical problem learn about it.

Your dad and I felt scared at first. We didn't know about diabetes except for type 2 which I had since about age 23. I really didn't know type1 existed. The learning process was very strange because of learning about the honeymoon phase and then how diabetes really comes to pass, Then comes the mixing of the insulin. Then needles and strips, and pumps, but that (the pump) came when you were older. Dad came to as many appts. as he could. He was supportive but as we learned it didn't get any easier watching our little girl do shots. But you seemed to grasp it really well but then again you were older. It was very much life changing but I feel that Heavenly Father had a plan for you. Hind sight being 20/20 I know he chose you to go through this for our family to help us become more aware of things and change. The time I was really scared I think you were 18 then and ended up in the hospital. But with the Lord's help we made it through . It also made your dad and I closer to God. We had to rely on him a lot back then and even now."

There you have it all! That's my diagnosis. Does yours sound similar? What did you and your family go through? I will be forever grateful that Heavenly Father placed me in such a supportive family. I had so much love from them when I got home. Feel free to share your story too!
Have a great night sweethearts! 

The Who and Why!

Hi there! My name is Laura Elggren, and I am a Type 1 Diabetic. I was diagnosed about a month after my 12th birthday on April 10, 1995. Yep, I'm getting to be an old-timer veteran! I am even getting the gray hairs to match too. I wanted to introduce myself, my little family, and tell you what on earth possessed me to start writing about the T1D aspect of my life. 

First thing: 

This is me. I'm 32 years old. I was born and raised in the good old state of Minnesota. Yah, you betcha!

 I moved to Utah about a year after meeting the dear man who would become my husband, best friend, and partner in crime. He is one of my greatest supporters in my T1D adventures. We will be married 10 years come this November! (Insert fist bump!)

We have 1 daughter, age 4, and she is the joy of our lives! She got all our good genes. She's smart, beautiful, and opinionated. She is truly our miracle!

Now, what am I doing starting something like this???

I love to journal. I do it in lots of different ways. I have my conventional handwritten journal, my scrapbooks, my family blog, etc... I have been thinking for a while now that I don't have any kind of journal for T1D events and challenges that I have. A lot of them haven't been written down. I had my 20 year diaversary in April of this year so I wrote about that on our family blog, but other than that I don't write much about this hugely important aspect of my life. It is time I did. I have been greatly touched by the stories of so many families. They inspire me! I hope that maybe my experiences can lift and inspire others in return. T1D is such a complex disease to have and none of us can get through it alone.

Thanks for reading! Let our adventures begin!