Blogger Slacker...Ha!

Well hi there sweethearts!! I apologize for the lack of posts the last couple months! I've had good reason though. 

 Every Christmas, I try to make my daughter something homemade. I'm crafty and I love it. I made her a quilt this year. I spent evenings, weekends, lunch breaks, work 10 minute breaks, car rides, etc, working to finish her quilt. I was up till about 2:00 am Christmas morning, but I finished it except for some little flower embellishments I will be putting on later. I'm so glad I made it! I really enjoy making useful things with my hands, and knowing they will be used by someone I love! 

 While I've been gone, I got a new medical bracelet! Isn't it pretty? I really love it. I usually don't wear one because I thought the metal ones were all that was out there. I hate those. They catch on the little hairs on my arm. But I came across a different company called MyID. They sell bracelets that are made of that strong silicone type material. It doesn't bug me at all. I love too that they keep an online profile for you to store your disease and medicine info. Then on the bracelet is a QR code that can be scanned, and also an ID and website for them to log on if the EMT's don't have a scanner. These bracelets have changed so much over the years! I'm glad I ran into an advertisement for a sale. It opened my eyes to all that's out there now!  It is so important to wear one of these. If I'm ever found alone and unconscious, anyone can scan my bracelet or login with the info on my bracelet, and they will find exact instructions on what to do and who to contact. Much better than the metal bracelet I used to have that just had the general term of "diabetic" on the back with no further information. It's a blessing! 

Recently, I've been so touched by the amount of people around me who have taken time to ask questions or listen kindly as I educate them on T1D. I work with some incredible people in our church, and whenever someone new comes in, I try to just make them aware of my situation. I had a very awful T1D weekend last weekend that involved failed sets, high blood sugars, set changes, a lot of insulin, small ketones, and not even close to enough sleep as a result. I tried going to a church meeting, and in the end I ended up not being well enough to go for the actual services. It frustrated me. I don't like T1D getting a big head thinking it bested me. I'm so thankful to be surrounded by such understanding people who understood why I couldn't be there. I spent the whole day in bed sleeping and drinking powerade in between because I was pretty dehydrated. My dear husband then came home and helped our kiddo get dinner, bath, and bedtime done. I'm so thankful for him and his support! Being surrounded by good people just makes such a huge difference. It tells me that I'm not alone in all this! 

I hope you are all having a very Merry Christmas celebration and that your New Year's is the happiest ever! God bless us all and watch over us! 

I'll be back soon. Stay tuned sweethearts! 

#T1DLooksLikeMe

Hello my dear sweethearts! A big hearty welcome to Diabetes Awareness Month! 

 November is a super busy month for my family. Michael and I have our wedding anniversary (10 years this year, yeah baby!), we have our daughter's birthday, my mom's birthday, 2 of my sisters have birthdays, and also a niece. Yep, popular baby month for the family! February gets cold, and there's love in the air, so it makes sense! Ha! 

November is also Diabetes Awareness Month! We have a huge responsibility and a great opportunity to share with family and friends about the struggles and realities that T1D kicks at us each day. It is truly up to us! If you want to know about something, it is best to go to the source. That's where the most accurate information is! WE are the source! We live the daily reality. 

The JDRF came up with a campaign called Diabetes Looks Like Me. Every time you see one of these blue pictures in November, you are seeing a T1D. You are seeing a parent who checks blood sugars at 2 a.m.. You are seeing a family who bands together to support the one. It is real life! You see a childhood that T1D hasn't been allowed to steal. You see a T1D veteran that has spent years overcoming the challenges presented to them medically. 

During this month, please make yourself aware of the signs and symptoms of T1D. If you see someone experiencing any of the symptoms, get checked and mention T1D specifically. If you're wrong and it is something else, you get a huge blessing and relief. And if you're not wrong, you save a life if you find out in time. It is worth the check up!!

Let's bleed blue this November, eh sweethearts? Have a great day! 

RIP My Dear Purse......

My dear sweethearts, I am saddened to report the death of one of my most important possessions. 

My purse.

We mourn.

Ever since my diagnosis, I have carried around a purse, small backpack, or a bag of some kind. The pancreatic challenged must have their insulin and supplies available at ALL times. I don't go anywhere at all without my purse. Never. Never ever. It is just one of those constants in the T1D world. 

When I was younger, I could get away with carrying a smaller purse because I only had to carry syringes, my meter, strips, and insulin. My purses were fairly normal sized and didn't draw much attention. 

Now, my purses are really big. I have so much more to carry! I always keep with me: 

My meter

Test strips

Infusion Sets

Reservoirs

Insulin

Syringes

Skin prep wipes

Skin tac wipes

Adhesive remover

Batteries

Spare battery cap for my pump

IV style tape

Wet wipes

A sugar source

And finally, lancets.

Believe it or not, this isn't overdoing it either. We just have to be prepared for whatever might happen.  You just truly never know. Your set could catch on a doorknob and get yanked out. You could learn the hard way that your insulin went bad prematurely. Your pump battery could go out. So much can happen at any time.

This is the reason my purses are so huge. And this is only the T1D stuff I keep in there! When you become a wife and mom, your purse becomes the family's purse. So if you ever pick up my purse and wonder why it is so dang heavy, it's because I have the world in there! 

I had to go replace my purse last weekend. My old one's zipper finally gave out. I like my new one, but it is smaller than the old one. Life is funny sometimes. We get attached to the strangest things. But man, I loved that old purse. I shall miss it! 

RIP, my dear purse. I miss you and all your functionality! 

Good night sweethearts! 

Because I have been given much....

I'm a very blessed woman. I have a lot of love and goodness in my life. I have a beautiful family. We work hard together. We take care of one another. We have our ups and downs, but all in all, we are so blessed. 

I have been truly blessed by my T1D community this week as well. I recently learned that I am likely allergic to plastic cannula infusion sets. This is by far the majority of the infusion sets out there. It explains the struggles I've been having. The same struggles I had while previously pumping have come back in full force to haunt me. Struggles have included sudden highs when I change sets, difficulty healing from a set change, red skin around the insertion site, not being able to use the same spots again for very prolonged periods of time, my body completely rejecting sets, etc... While being sick this past month, I honestly almost gave up again. But then I put a sure t back in. My numbers have been better, near perfect, ever since I haven't put another plastic cannula in me. 

It was a big frustration as well due to the fact that my entire supply is plastic cannulas. So I've been working on replacing them all with sure t sets. I've tried to trade, but didn't have much luck. No luck at all really... Lots of people don't like the steel needle sets, so they didn't have anything to trade. Things were looking bleak. Then I had 2 ladies offer to send me a few sure t sets each to get me by till I can figure out what to do. Truly a blessing, and I'm so grateful to them! They wanted nothing in return even though I tried to offer. It gave me the faith to go out on a limb today and give my plastic sets to someone else who truly needs them and is suffering to afford supplies like so many T1D's do! It is so hard to just hand them over when you're in a tight spot as well, but every time I do, I'm blessed for it! About an hour after making arrangements for my plastic sets, someone posted in a T1D group about sharing her daughter's extensive supply of sure t sets. She's sharing with me and several other people. 

It has been so neat to see this happen time and time again. Whenever I've given from my T1D supplies, the blessings come back and then some. They are not left to go without and neither am I. I'm truly grateful to God for showing me this over and over again. I'm glad He lets me serve others! "Because I have been given much, I too must give." And it takes faith every time to do it, but that's ok. If you want to have faith, you need to do something that requires faith to accomplish it! 

I feel peace! 

Goodnight sweethearts! 

Oh. My. Heck.

I saw the following on Facebook the other day. It perfectly sums up my past few weeks, and explains why I haven't blogged in recent weeks.

I could close here, but I'll explain instead...ha! 

About a month ago, our daughter started coughing. It was mostly just a dry, slightly irritated cough, but it was persistent. We didn't take her in since it was the cough alone with no other symptoms. She decided to share this cough with Mama about 2 1/2 weeks ago. 

Super...Super Duper.... 

Every year, I get bronchitis at least once, and sometimes more. I. Hate. Bronchitis. I cough hard, I can't breathe, it is just hard to function. Having T1D makes you more susceptible to illness, and then once the germs get you, it takes a very long forever for them to get out. 

As if bronchitis isn't enough fun all on its own, it always packs the most awful high blood sugar kick in the gut. I was running in the upper 200's - 300's constantly. I decided to go in and be seen to get on an antibiotic. It definitely helped quickly, but it made my blood sugars even worse. It didn't matter how much insulin poured into me, I just ran high and felt a bit miserable. It was an antibiotic that I had never had problems with, and it had to choose this illness to bust my chops!

I had one night where I actually had to do a manual injection just to get my blood sugar down. I had changed my set twice, thinking that may be part of the issue, and it just wasn't doing any good.

It was the worst timing to be sick. I had so much going on that weekend, and I missed almost all of it. God did however bless me to be well enough to get to church for the Primary program. That was a merciful miracle.

The week after the program, my cough worsened some. It is making progress now, but I was having a hard time that week after the program. Breathing was not in the cards.

In true family style fashion, the cough and bronchitis spread to my husband. We've been coughing and medicating as a family. Awe...togetherness....

Now that I'm doing a bit better now, I thought I should just drop a line to explain that I didn't drop off the earth someplace.

Another couple weeks in the life of a sweetheart! Never a dull moment!

We Can't Do It Alone!

Hi there sweethearts! My goodness, it has been a busy couple of weeks! With my pump fun, the holiday, and some other "fun" we've had to deal with, it has been so busy and I haven't posted because of it! But I'm here and thought I would give a shout out and a big Hello! 

 Today, I wish to address the importance of a support system in the life of a T1D. As I've told you before, this disease is a constant. There are no breaks. There is no skipping medications. You just have to plow through everything because you literally have no other choice. Can you imagine going through something like that alone? Having nobody who understands, nobody to confide in, nobody who knows the inside view of what you do everyday. What a lonely and devastating scenario! There are far too many T1D's out there who try this route. They aren't typically successful. Many T1D's experience depression and anxiety as a result of having to try and deal all by themselves. I don't know what it is about this world sometimes, but we need to treat each other better. Nobody should have to feel that alone!

I'm grateful that throughout my life with T1D, I have had family and friends who stuck by me and loved me. They took me as the whole package, T1D and side effects included. I come from a big family full of fiercely loyal people. We love one another sometimes to the point of going overboard. But every time I have had a T1D issue or illness come up, they have my back. I am so grateful for them! Blood sugar fluctuations can make you do and say some crazy things. Some stories come to mind, but I'll save those for another day. Even in those crazy moments though, they have never blamed me or treated me badly. I have always had them in my corner! 

When I met my husband, he was incredibly supportive of my T1D. I had just barely started pumping for the first time, and when I showed it to him he was genuinely interested. It was one of the first qualities I loved about him. He wasn't grossed out. He didn't tell me to go do my T1D stuff in a different room. He didn't treat me like a human biohazard. He just loved me as a whole, and everything else was just pieces of the whole. He still, to this day, reminds me to buy glucose tablets, asks what my blood sugar is, tells me when it gets close to time to take my medication for my insulin resistance (yes, T1D's can be insulin resistant), and makes sure to high 5 me when my A1C has been great. I'm thankful God gave him to me! I couldn't have asked for more. So many out there don't have a supportive and understanding spouse. I promise you, it can make all the difference! 

Another incredible part of my support system is my beautiful daughter. She is beyond ok with the T1D thing! She ALWAYS wants to read my blood sugar number, asks me if it is high or low, and checks to see if I need to "eat some sugar", watches me take my insulin, helps me change my infusion sets, and more! While I was pregnant with her, I remember being worried about that. Most kids don't really do the whole needles thing. But she actually asks me sometimes if I can check her blood sugar. She always hopes she'll be low like Mama is sometimes. Lows =Candy. Smart girl! I have to turn her down most of the time, but I've said yes a few times too just to give her the experience. I'm so very proud of her. I was so exhausted this past week from some stressful car problems we were having. My blood sugars were a bit off which added to being worn out. She let me lay down and rest on the couch while she watched a movie. She's an amazing kiddo! 

If you are a T1D who feels alone and like you have nobody who understands, I encourage you to reach out. So many have no idea what you go through. So let them in on it in small and simple ways at first. Share what you can! Holding it in completely can hurt you in so many ways. If you don't have family or friends to turn to, seek out social media or blogs. There are so many out there like you! 

If you are part of the functioning pancreas crowd, and you know of a T1D friend or neighbor, ask them about it. Show interest, and show them you care about what they deal with. Showing even a small bit of support, it can make a life-changing difference. 

You don't have to do this alone. Frankly, we CAN'T do this alone. 

Night night sweethearts! 

Sure T Infusion Set

Hi there sweethearts! Just throwing out a short entry tonight. I changed my infusion set 2 days ago, and I don't think it took well. I was having a hard time getting my blood sugar down tonight after giving a big dose of insulin. Usually that's the big indicator that the set decided to quit before it's time. 

I decided, since I needed to change it out, it was a perfect time to use one of the new sets I was given. Meet the Sure T! I usually use a set called the Quickset. It has a plastic cannula that stays under your skin to deliver the insulin. I find those to be extremely unreliable. I think it is just my body though because several people love them and have great luck with them. I'm trying the Sure T because it has a steel needle cannula rather than plastic. Plus the Sure T has a second anchor point so the needle won't be tugged on too much. Love that feature! 

Now, what brand of crazy brings a person to prefer a needle over plastic, you may ask? The plastic cannula is soft and can bend. Since it can bend, it can kink which means you aren't receiving the insulin and you can get very sick if the situation isn't figured out in time. Also, some people's bodies just flat out reject the plastic cannula. It can be very frustrating! A steel needle cannula can't bend, so it can't kink. It is a truly beautiful thing! It also has less rejection issues. The Sure T is a great option for someone like me who just can't always depend on the plastic. It is just yet another scenario that proves every T1D is different. 

So far so good. I changed the set a couple of hours ago and it is bringing my blood sugar back down. 276 was where I started and I'm now at 206. Progress! I will be up for a bit making sure I get back down, but that's ok. We'll get there! 

Have lovely and sweet dreams sweethearts!!

The Eye Doctor.....Dun, dun, DUN!!

Hi all! It has been a very busy and long week! My first week back on the pump has been full of highs and lows, good days and nauseous days, but through it all, I'm still thankful for this blessing. It is just sort of like starting over with figuring out insulin doses. My body isn't used to the blood sugar up and down rollercoaster anymore. But we are getting it figured out. 

Today I had yet another doctor appointment at my home away from home. The ophthalmologist. It has been a couple of years since I've gone, but my endocrinologist told me I needed to go in. T1D truly can kick every part of your body. There is so much potential for bad things to happen. It can be a downer! A T1D is supposed to faithfully go to the eye doctor annually. I've never had eye troubles, so I admit I put less priority on this part of my treatment. 

Today, it kicked me square in the butt. Hard. Left a mark. Me no likey.

My actual exam went very well. My sight is still perfect, no glasses needed. I've always been grateful for my good eyesight. I hate the dilation process. It gave me a bad headache this afternoon. 

Our clinic has some fun new machines that take an extremely detailed color photo of your eye. Up close and personal, and not even with dinner first! It was so neat to see the inner workings of my own eye. I'm always fascinated by stuff like that. I had to have a colonoscopy in my early 20's and I still have pictures of my colon in my journal. No, that isn't weird.

Well on the perdy picture of my eye, there was a little spot. I figured there was something up because the nurse left that portion of the picture up on the computer and zoomed in, ready to be evaluated by my doctor. Turns out, in my right eye I have a microaneurysm. Thankfully, it is not in my line of sight. It it a little ways next to it. If it were much closer, it would worsen my eyesight. It is leaking a very small amount of fluid, so he wants to look again in 6 months. If it is worse, or if there are more of them, I might have to have laser surgery. Tonight I'm having a "I hate T1D" kind of night. Why? Because a microaneurysm is an early sign of diabetic retinopathy. The doctor explained that this is a direct result of T1D. The worry now is if I will get another one closer to my line of sight.

After the appointment, I had to wear the above pictured sunglasses which belong to my daughter. We walked to the clinic and I had left my sunglasses in our car which my hubby had at work. Thankfully, an angel of mercy who we know, she saw us walking and picked us up so I could stop sporting those glasses in public...Ha!

Controlling blood sugars is so important, and I've done so well the last couple years. But there was all those years where I didn't have good control. I guess it is trying to catch up with my eyes. Control is going to be an even bigger priority with this new development. Say a little prayer for my little eyeballs.

Tonight, T1D can shove it.... Tomorrow is a new day.

Sweet dreams sweethearts! 

PUMPernickel, Let the Games Begin!

 Well sweethearts, today was pump hookup day! It all happened so quickly and I've been in a bit of a mental and blood sugar whirlwind today. 

I took off work for the appointment, which I'm glad I did. I didn't want to be battling blood sugar issues while still having to be productive. It doesn't work so well... The appointment went very well. I remember most of what to do, so it made things go smoothly. 

I've done fairly well today. My blood sugars have been normal, but on the lower side of normal. I've watched closely so I have been able to keep them up enough to still do things around home, and tonight hanging out with my little family. It would have been a lot to do all that while at work. Being on a pump, especially at first when all the dosing is a rough estimate guess, well it takes a lot out of you. Blood sugar checks more often than normal, and listening to every little sign your body throws out at you. But it doesn't kill my excitement! I am so happy to have this pump and I know how blessed I am to have been given it! 

 One interesting thing I forgot about, sleeping with the pump is an adventure...Ha! It gets rolled on, slips and slides around, and you can't just clip it because it hurts to roll over onto a plastic clip. So, MaeLae's sock to the rescue! Just put the pump in the sock and safety pin it to whatever bottoms you're wearing. It is a great trick I learned a long time ago. 

Now, my new basal is kicking in. That's why I'm down in my living room and blogging at almost midnight. I must still have a tiny bit of Lantus (long acting insulin) in my system. I'll be awake till I feel like my blood sugar is up to stay for the evening. Good thing I can sleep in a little tomorrow. Wish me good blessings, and here's hoping I get some sleep! I've already had an apple and also a sandwich. I hope I don't wake up high in the morning. Once my doses are figured out though, things will be fine and I will be a happy camper! 

Sleep well sweethearts! Say a little prayer that I'll sleep well too once I get there! 

A Miracle and a Blessing!

Tonight, I am an EXTREMELY happy woman! I, this very night, hold in my hand, an insulin pump of my very own!!!!!!!! Ok sweethearts, this is like Disneyland and Christmas and a lifetime of Birthdays all wrapped up in one fabulous tiny package. It is a huge deal! 

In 2004, I purchased my very first pump. I had no insurance so I had to pay the $6,000 out of my own pocket. (Sadly, they cost even more now!) It took me 5 years to pay off that sucker. I happily, and at times with frustration, pumped for 7 years. Then the threads on the battery holder started to break off and so I had to stop using it. It wasn't holding the battery cap on anymore. So I went back to injections and have been doing them ever since. A little over 4 years now. I take anywhere from 6-10 shots probably in a given day. Sometimes more depending on what my blood sugars are doing. Over time, that makes your skin so sore. I have been missing pumping for a long time now. With the pump, a small tube called a cannula goes under your skin and insulin is pumped in through a tube that is attached to the cannula. The beautiful thing is that the cannula only needs to be changed every 3 days. One needle every three days compared to about 30 or so over 3 days. I am sure you see the beauty! 

Why didn't I buy a new pump when mine broke? Insurance. It is so expensive to buy a pump even with insurance. And the supplies needed to use it are expensive too. It is a hard thing to afford financially. I'm praying that God will help us find a way to afford any supplies now. He's been so wonderful to us, and I'm grateful! 

I was in one of my T1D groups on fb last week and a woman posted that a friend had given her a pump and supplies that she didn't need. She generously offered them to me. It was an answer to prayers! I'm so thankful for her generosity! It will be so nice to have a break from injections for a while. I'm so happy and feeling incredibly blessed! This pump is in excellent condition. The woman from the group on fb also sent lots of accessories for wearing the pump and also everything needed for the continuous glucose monitor that is a part of this pump. I can't wait to use it all! 

I've already named my new pump. Is that lame? I don't think so either....ha! 

Welcome to the family PUMPernickel! 

(Don't judge...)

I get to talk to the doctor now and get a prescription for my supplies. Then we set up and pray! 

Sweet dreams sweethearts! 

The Joy of the Overnight Low.....

Well hello there sweethearts! I hope this week has been treating you fabulously!

It has been a great, but busy week for our family! Time has flown! But today, I have to tell the tale of yet another overnight low that I had the pleasure of dealing with last night.

 Picture this: Asleep. Comfy in bed. Warm in your covers. Suddenly you wake up at around 1:30 am. You quickly recognize that old familiar feeling. Shakes. Weak arms. A little disoriented. You reach out in the dark for your meter, and use your kindle as a light source. You check your blood sugar as you try to control the shaky feeling. Your meter confirms your suspicion. 36.... Then you remember you finished off all your bedside sugar sources on previous lows during the past week or two....

I have a wonderful husband who has made the executive decision that I shouldn't be walking downstairs in the dark during an overnight low. I agree, being the klutz I am! So he took out his last beloved Toblerone candy bar and let me have it for my low. Good man, and making sacrifices for the good of his wifey! 

It was a stubborn low. It took almost an hour to get back up to 85, at which time I figured correctly that I was good to go back to sleep. Only problem, it takes me forever to fall asleep. It was a long night.....

 Yes, this was my fun nighttime low experience. I truly hate overnight lows. They are a completely different ballgame because you have to confirm that your blood sugar is normal again before you can go to sleep again. If it takes 2 hours to get there, you're up for 2 hours. Same thing with overnight highs. You have to be up and checking and working to get your numbers back to normal. T1D doesn't care if you're tired, have to work in the morning, have to be not falling asleep during your daughter's morning routine, etc....

Well, it is a new day now. I started writing this last night, but couldn't finish. I was so tired. But I just wanted to add that I know T1D is a big pain in the very big butt. However, I continue to live and work and play every day. T1D doesn't get to win. It gets to annoy, plunder, and attempt to destroy, but it never gets to win. Take that T1D!! 

Have a great day sweethearts! 

Feeling Thankful!! :)

I found this great quote today. I love it! I am reminded of last year's open enrollment at work. Our insurance coverage changed a lot, and not for the better sadly. I remember spending a lot of time on my knees. I knew there was no way I would be able to buy insulin and supplies with our new large deductible and coinsurance percentages. I was so stressed. My A1C jumped from 6.5 to 7.7 during those months. Stress is horrible on blood sugars. And frankly, not knowing if you will have the medication and supplies necessary for your very survival, well stress just doesn't cut it! 

I prayed so hard for Heavenly Father to help us find some way. I asked, made phone calls, looked online, and read just about anything I could get my hands on about saving money on insulin and supplies.

Then the miracles started to pour in. I talked to my doctor at my 7.7 A1C appointment, and he's been giving me insulin samples since that day. He's been so kind and generous about it. He asked me if there were any other worries that would make my numbers jump so much, and I told him it was all insurance worries. He was eager to help me figure out my options and he's helped me save substantial amounts of money.

Then later on, I had two friends who had loved ones pass away. It was extremely sad and my heart broke for them. It happened that their loved ones who had passed were both type 2 diabetics. Both of my friends thought of me and gave me the remaining supplies and insulin left behind. I spent a great deal of time on my knees thanking God for his loving hand and the miracles my family was seeing right in front of us. Though the circumstances were heartbreaking, both my friends said their loved ones would be glad to see these items go to those who needed them. With those supplies and insulin, I have also had enough to share with 5 families who were in need. 

My mom, who is a Type 2, sent me out some test strips from her storage that she wasn't going to use. She's done that twice now. It is funny when you get excited about a care package from home that contains test strips...ha!

I was recently in contact with another person who had no use for a bunch of insulin pen needles. I think they were starting on a pump and just didn't need them anymore. Today, 6 boxes of them arrived in the mail.

Lately, all my insulin has been in vials so I have been going through more syringes than I used to. I was wondering a couple of weeks ago how to be strategic about planning and making what I have stretch as long as possible. I was on Facebook the other day, and I found a woman in one of the T1D groups who posted that she was getting rid of a bunch of syringes. She's giving me several boxes of them! I almost cried! And even better, there will be enough of those for me to share too. 

And with God's goodness in all these miracles, I have been still able to afford to buy my own test strips. Not a lot of them, but just enough for my needs. 

I can relate to the above quote so well because of all those times I prayed for help to just have sufficient for my needs. Sometimes I couldn't find words. It was hard to trust and rely on my faith. It was such a hard time. But I am a firm believer that after we do all we can do, God does the rest. He did this for me all of this year and more. These experiences have taught me so much about the power of sincere prayer. 

(When I got my 10 year survivor medal, 10 years late, but better late than never!)

I have this trial called T1D. It isn't going away. But He hasn't left me alone in it! I'm not left comfortless! 

I just wanted to post this because I pray it will give someone else hope, especially as the insurance industry continues to worsen. There is hope, and there are people who will help you! And you ALWAYS have your Heavenly Father! 

Goodnight sweethearts!

To the Doctor's Office We Go!

Well today was such a good day. Why? Because I went to the Endocrinologist and came out with an absolutely fabulous A1C reading of 6.5!!

 Every 3 months, us T1D's have to venture out to see our doctors and get our A1C checked, as well as many other lovely delightful bloody labs. The A1C measures your blood sugar average over the previous 3 months. Normal A1C falls within the upper 5's to upper 6's. So I am in a pretty sweet spot with my result today.  I've been in the 6's now for the last nine months. I'm so happy with how far I've come! I work so hard to keep T1D things in check. It doesn't work always, but I keep trying! I think that's the difference. Don't give up! T1D can be so frustrating that way. You do things one way and get a certain result for your efforts. Try the exact same thing the next day, and your results will likely be completely different.

At times, these appointments can bring on a lot of anxiety and worry. I have had instances where I would almost throw up with the nerves if I knew my A1C wasn't going to be as good as last time. You want your doctor to listen and understand that even when you try, sometimes your body just doesn't respond how you wish it would. I'm grateful that I have a wonderful Endo! I don't feel nervous going to him, even if I think my results will be awful. He teaches, he encourages, he gives honest answers with no excuse solutions. He gives me choices in my care and we both get excited about it when I figure things out by my own experience. We get along great, and I pray he never retires! 

Every appointment, I get this little paper printout with my A1C result on it. I have started to staple all the good results together and I keep these little papers in my wallet. It serves as a reminder that I CAN do this! I can work hard another day. I can try to be healthy another day. I can walk those extra few steps because they will help my blood sugar! I can prick my finger or take that injection one more time. I can do it because this is the result I can have if I don't give up!

Us T1D's are solid stock. Tough cookies. And that's a good thing because we literally CAN'T give up! Stupid lazy freeloader dead pancreas! 

Yay for my 6.5!!! Have a lovely evening sweethearts! 

Welcome To Utah!

Good Afternoon Sweethearts! 

The hubby is sleeping, the kiddo is watching a movie, so I figured that now would be an awesome time to share my 3rd close call story. I have to say I have been looking forward to this post because it meant that I could dig into some of my old pictures and revisit some very happy memories from way back when!

(Michael and I in Yellowstone on our way to Utah in 2005)

As I said in my first post, I'm from Minnesota. I moved to Utah in 2005 when I was just 22 years old because I was long distance dating the incredibly handsome man pictured with me above. Moving to Utah to be with my Michael was actually one of the biggest and happiest adventures I've ever been on. We planned the when, of course, and in late June of 2005, Michael flew out to Minnesota so we could drive back to Utah. We packed up as much of my stuff as would fit in my little 97 Mercury Sable Wagon, and we drove across hills, plains, valleys, and mountains, and landed in our new life together. 

Part of what made this a huge adventure was also the fact that I was driving away from everyone in my circle of family and friends who knew about my T1D and who helped me take care of myself.  Michael knew some things about my T1D, but he didn't have the day to day experience of it like myself and my family did. Nobody in his family has it, so I was his only experience in seeing it. Poor Michael got to learn from this experience about just how dangerous and unpredictable that T1D can be.  

A few weeks after I moved to Utah, I was realizing that I was running low on my supplies for my insulin pump. I had started pumping in November of the previous year. Being new to Utah, I hadn't set myself up with a diabetes supplier yet since I was spending all my time looking for a job and a place to live. (I had tried to find a job before the move, but nothing worked out. So all that waited till I got here and it was so incredibly stressful, and the stress was definitely not a help to my blood sugars!) Since I was getting low on supplies, I decided to stretch what I had and it wasn't working out so well. I was one of those people who really should have changed my pump's infusion sets out every 2 days instead of the recommended 3 days. During this time, I was wearing a site for a week or more. I would pretty much wear it till it fell off and couldn't be taped on any longer. My blood sugar checks were also getting to be fewer and fewer as the days went on and as my readings ran higher. In case you aren't associated with the purchasing of diabetes supplies, let me give you an idea of the cost. I didn't have insurance when I bought my pump. I paid $6,000 for it over a time of 5 years. Without insurance, infusion sets and other pump supplies can cost over $1,000 per month. Test strips without insurance can cost well over $50 for a box of only 50 strips. And don't even get me started on the cost of insulin! It is insane! With insurance it is cheaper, but if you are an insured pumper you are usually still spending hundreds out of pocket each month for everything. 

One night, I was down to just a couple of infusion sets left. My blood sugars had run pretty high by this time. My infusion set's tubing had gotten caught on something and my set came out about halfway. I was so discouraged and not sure what to do. So what did I do? I acted on panic in the moment and it was stupid. I pushed the site back in, and taped it on. I know many of you are shaking your heads in horror, but remember I was new to pumping at that time. I had been doing it less than a year. Since the set is made of plastic, the insulin delivery part (cannula) bent when I pushed it back in. My body wasn't getting the insulin. 

 I got sick again, as tends to happen when stuff like this strikes. We went to the doctor and he sent us over to the hospital. We got there and I was in the beginning stages of DKA. Poor Michael, nothing like bringing your girlfriend all the way to Utah just to learn the hard way about her disease! The hospital had given me some medication. I don't remember what it was, but it started making my body extremely restless. I couldn't sit still and my arms ached. After telling them they needed to give me something to make that stop, they must have given me a sedative of some kind because I don't remember anything till waking up in my hospital room. I was only there for a couple of days thankfully. We had gotten me there in time before things got too out of hand like before. 

After I got out of the hospital, I knew I needed to figure things out. I knew I had been stupid. I knew I couldn't put myself through that and I especially couldn't put Michael through that again. As much as I didn't want to do it, I went to my church to assist me in getting my supplies until I found myself in a better financial and employment situation. I had found a job by then, but I didn't have insurance yet and it was a job I hated. I knew I just needed to be in a job with good pay and good insurance. I was at that first job for a very short time because I had found a different one working with a diabetes supplier. They had excellent insurance and I finally got myself on track with making sure I had what I needed. There were some tight times no doubt. I had to stretch things sometimes. But I never went without and I never made myself stretch nearly so far as to make it unsafe for me. From that point, and till now at 10 years later, I have never had to go back to the hospital. I have had times where I've had ketones, and I've been pretty sick, but it never got to the point of DKA again. I treated at home as best I could and thankfully it was good enough to keep me out of the hospital. Sometimes even when you work so hard to keep T1D things on the straight and narrow, DKA will still sneak up on you. It isn't always because of some mistake you made. I just ended up learning the hard way! Lucky me....Ha!  

Michael began to learn so much about T1D after he saw the seriousness of what can happen, and how fast things can turn life threatening. He's been such a support to me. He is always asking me what my blood sugar is, he smiles with me and shares in my high five when my A1C is good, he truly wants to know what I do to stay healthy. Heaven definitely smiled upon me when Michael was given to me. He's blessed my life in so many ways, and I am glad I can depend on him to support me through this journey as a T1D! 

I am no longer on the pump. Mine broke after the warranty was up, and so I am back to injections. But I am doing better now than I ever have before. I think I might make that my next post after all of this extreme seriousness. You might wonder why I chose to share these 3 stories first in this blog. It is a lot of reality to begin with! My reason is for awareness first and foremost. However, my biggest reason is to show where I have come from personally. I know more now. I work harder to stay healthy now. I have a supportive doctor now who makes me accountable while not making me feel like a failure if I mess up. I have explained to people before that T1D can kill you. It effects every single aspect of your life and of your body's function! I have had situations in life where I've had to fight with the insurance company or where I have had to stand up for my need for my medication and supplies because I refuse to go backward in my T1D. If I don't have these things, this disease will kill me. I have said that before, and felt like it fell upon deaf ears. People treated me like I was being dramatic and inflating the seriousness of the situation. I know all too well what T1D is capable of. I have learned a lot. I at times learned through making EXTREMELY stupid mistakes, but I learned. 

Now I get to be a voice for others who are struggling like I did! It makes me happy to do that.

Have a great afternoon Sweethearts!

Adventures in Personal Stupidity

In every T1D's life, there is a period of denial that happens. It can be denial about actually having it, or denial about what one has to do all day to stay in control of blood sugars and life in general. Usually during this time, a T1D just doesn't want to have anything to do with insulin or blood or needles. It is a very big and frustrating job to be your own pancreas. It takes its toll after a while because there are no breaks whatsoever. It is so constant, but it has to be. 

My diagnosis was my close call story #1. Now I need to share my close call #2 story which is also my "denial" story. I was a late bloomer in the denial department, but you can bet I learned a lot from my own personal stupidity. 

When I was 20 or so years old, I think 20, I went through some pretty intense depression and hatred toward T1D. As many can relate, it was mostly financially motivated. I was going to school, working, and I was no longer on my parent's insurance because the policy didn't insure us kids after a certain age. I was working at a shoe store where I had an extremely inadequate policy that covered almost nothing. 

In my situation at the time, I didn't bring in much money at all. My insulin was basically bought with a discount card that didn't take off nearly enough. My wonderful parents helped me where they could and surprised me with a vial or two of insulin when they had enough to do so. I come from a large family though, and insulin can break you if you have to pay a large copay or hundreds of dollars out of pocket like I had to.

If you know me well, you know I don't ask for help if I can find even the slightest way of taking care of business on my own. In my frustration with costs and with having T1D in the first place, I started taking very little insulin. It was nowhere near enough. Some days, I would just inject a little bit of Lantus (long acting insulin) and then go about my day eating like a normal person would but without any Humalog (short acting insulin) to cover the food I was eating.  I couldn't afford it, so I just wasn't going to take it. I wasn't checking my blood sugars like I should have been. Some days, I didn't check at all. I didn't want to see the number, and I especially didn't want to know how high it was. Worst of all, I wasn't sharing any of this with my parents. Big no-no, I know that now. I was just so angry with it all, and with the fact that I couldn't seem to do it on my own.

Please know that I don't personally remember hardly any of the story as I was completely out of it during the majority of it. I can say, I'm glad I don't remember it too. I think that's part of God's mercy toward me! It was a very embarrassing situation.

One day, my Mom had come up to my room, I think to wake me up for the day. She told me she came back downstairs and told my Dad that I was up in my room talking to people that weren't there. Naturally concerning, no doubt! They must have figured out what was going on because they got me out of the house and drove me to the hospital that was about 10 minutes away. In the car, I remember even now playing with my cell phone in the back seat. One of the very few memories I have of the day. Well my parents tell me that it wasn't my cell phone. It was my Dad's work glove that I was thinking was my cell phone. They said I was sitting back there just chattering to absolutely nobody during the entire ride.

We arrived at the hospital, which I don't remember, but I do remember being in the ER and asking for ice chips and water. Then my memory goes again. My parents tell me that when I asked for ice chips and they wouldn't give me any, I got very combative. I was hitting people, swearing at people, and finally they had to restrain me in the bed. I am so glad I don't remember that part. I don't swear normally, and I definitely don't beat people up in my everyday life!

I was in VERY severe DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis). My blood sugar had been so high for so long, and my body developed a very huge amount of ketones. Ketones are blood acids that form when your body doesn't have any insulin. It makes a T1D extremely sick and is a potentially fatal complication when not treated immediately. Mine was definitely not treated immediately due to my own personal stupidity. I was pretty far into it, considering I was hallucinating and having all these other horrible symptoms. The hospital my parents took me to is a fairly small hospital, and I am told that the hospital had to call the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN to ask them how to treat me because they had never seen a case of DKA that had gone that far before. I was far nearer to being in a coma, and with very little chance of coming out of it they told us, than I had been at diagnosis.

The hospital was able to keep me there and treat me after being instructed by the Mayo Clinic. They brought me back and I am so very grateful that they did! I am thankful to my parents for their quick action, and for not killing me themselves after learning what I had kept from them!

Once I was back and myself again, some of the ER nurses who had dealt with me, well they came to see me. I told them I couldn't remember them, but that I was thankful to them for helping me. My Mom tells me that they took her aside and said they would have never known I was the same person by how I acted during my crazy ER encounter. They were surprised that I was a nice person when I had some insulin in me!

Why do I share this story? This story was the turning point for me. I learned that I have no choice but to care about the fact that I have T1D. It isn't going away. If I want to live, I have to take care of it. I hope that some other young person will read this story and not make the same decision that I did. All that I accomplished by my denial and rebellion was a very large hospital bill.

Moral of the story, TAKE YOUR INSULIN and CHECK YOUR BLOOD SUGARS!

Don't learn the hard way just how important these things are to you living a normal and happy life.

Well, that's about it for Close Call Story #2. I'll post the 3rd one later, but for now it is about bedtime. Sweet dreams sweethearts!

Thank You Sweetheart!

This has been an extremely busy week in the T1D community. I think everyone knows who this dear little sweetheart is that I have pictured above. Kycie Terry, age 5. She was diagnosed early this year with T1D and had a very traumatic brain injury as a result of the T1D. I remember the night I first saw her story. I started reading, and then I started bawling crocodile tears for this beautiful child who they thought wouldn't make it through the night. I remember thinking how much I wished that she would make it.

For months, I laughed and cried with this family as Kycie learned once again how to do things like sit up, smile, make sounds, follow people with her eyes and head, and so much more. I anxiously watched for updates when Kycie was well enough to go home with her family, and I understood the issues they had as they learned to live the T1D life. They had so much more to deal with, both T1D and the brain injury combined. But they relied on their faith, and they continued to live and do as a family!

Last Saturday morning, Kycie passed away after a very bad case of pneumonia and pneumothorax. It isn't said if that's what caused it, but she was in the hospital for it that week before she passed. I cried again for this dear child. I cried for her family. They have been through so much in such a short time.

Some have asked me, why do I cry and get so interested in something going on in a person's life, especially when I don't know them personally. I want to answer that question. One unique thing about being a T1D, once you've been diagnosed you become part of this huge supportive family. People who don't know you will come up to you in public and ask you if that's an insulin pump they saw and right there you share survivor stories. People will see you whip out an insulin pen and come up and tell you that they use the same kind and then share how well it is working for them. I'm part of a couple of Facebook groups for members of this great T1D family, and when one of us hurts, we ALL hurt. If one of us needs insulin or supplies, we rally together to provide for the need. It is truly a family! Do we know each other in person? Nope. Do you have to know someone in person to have compassion for their situation? Nope.

So many of us in this great T1D family have been where Kycie was. I've been in DKA 3 times. Almost died all 3 times. I didn't have a brain injury like she did, and that complicated it all so much for the Terry family. But I have been where they've been with T1D, just like so many others have. It is all too real, because we live it everyday.

My point in all this is that I want to say Thank You to this dear sweetheart Kycie, and the Terry family, for helping spread awareness by sharing and being extremely open about their story. I have had so many friends come to me and ask what they can do and what to look for. They aren't fooled by the stereotypes anymore. They know more! Kycie helped save 19 lives that I know of, maybe more, just through the sharing of information about T1D and their story. 19 kids who will live because they were diagnosed when they were. So many miracles and a beautiful legacy.

Thank you sweetheart. I know it isn't enough, but thank you. You've changed my life and how I share my T1D with others. Rest peacefully and watch over your family. They love you, and so do all of us! 

My Diagnosis Story

20 years ago, at age 12, I was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic. My life changed forever! I remember that I had been quite sick. I was throwing up, drinking a lot, peeing a lot, and just feeling generally miserable. The flu was going around pretty good that year. I also remember that I was falling asleep really early in the evening. Like 7:00 or earlier. It wasn't at all like me because I am to this day, a night owl. My Mom took me to the doctor thinking I had the flu or something like it. I was just not getting better like everyone else.

I remember that appointment very well. It was with our pediatrician, Dr. Biery (Pronounced like Berry). I remember her leaving the room to check if my labs came back yet, and I heard them talking in the hallway through the door. I heard her say the word hospital. I remember asking my Mom, "Did she just say hospital?" That freaked me out a little. But the doctor came back in and explained what would happen. We were to go immediately to the hospital. As a child with large family, this was my first ever time having my own room. I honestly LOVED it! I was there for a week, and it was awesome. I had my own tv, room service, and the sweet solitude of being the only occupant in the room! I was hooked up to IV's, less than delightful, but it was the first in a very long list of diabetes related needles to enter my body. This was T1D's first attempt out of 3 now at killing me, and it was nearly successful, but we got me in just in time. I remember them saying that if we had waited, we were hours from me being in a coma or worse.

Eventually, they told me that I would not be leaving the hospital till I could give myself a shot on my own. Being 12, I was old enough to do that stuff on my own. Younger children aren't asked to do that of course, but they are once they are older, you betcha! As most normal children agree, I hated needles passionately! They found a way to make it fun for me. They gave me a vial of saline, a syringe, and a beautiful bright orange. They said orange skin has a similar appearance to human skin, just oranger, so that's why they used it. Do you know what happens when you inject saline into an orange? It squirts right back out at you! As a 12 year old, very easily amused, I had hours of fun in the hospital with my saline drowned orange. But eventually the time came to pull out the insulin IV and get me going on my own shots. I remember the nurse did my first one because I freaked out, convinced it would hurt. In the course of my freaking, she gave me the shot and I didn't even know it. I was shocked! Didn't feel a thing! I remember on my discharge day, I had to be in a room with several doctors and people and I had to give myself a shot in front of them before leaving. Yeah, no pressure! But I did well, if I do say so myself.

I was lucky to go home to a family full of curious and supportive people. My siblings loved watching me do my shots and check my blood sugar. I remember we would count down the numbers on my bg meter till the result appeared. The count was a lot longer back then! 

My doctor then was Robert Larson. I LOVED this guy. He was extremely supportive. I thought I was pretty VIP because I had his pager number and I was calling him every day for the first while to report blood sugars and progress. He really helped set me up to be independent as far as doing all this myself. So grateful for that! His CDE, Colleen, was wonderful as well. She was very kind and helpful. Especially after the "honeymoon phase" (your pancreas's final go before being officially dead) was over and things got a lot harder. When our insurance changed, and we could no longer go to their clinic, both us and them were genuinely sad to no longer be working together. I remember Dr. Larson looking so so sad at my last appointment with him, and I gave him a hug to cheer him up.

Over the last 20 years, my road with T1D has been really really hard. I won't lie. My control over my bg's has been awful for a lot of years now. I never had found another doctor like Dr. Larsen. Nobody supportive and willing to explain things to me. They knew less about T1D back then than they do now, but still, if you can't be supportive to your patients in a general humanity way, please please please don't become a doctor! About 2 years ago, I finally found an endocrinologist who has a teacher's heart. He has been so supportive of me. I finally have A1C readings in the 6's, something I've never really had before. I hope he never retires!!

When I decided to do this post, I asked others what they thought about my T1D and how it effected them back then. I am glad that I did because I learned something knew. I never knew what my bg reading was at diagnosis, but now I know! And it wasn't good.....oye! The following point of view is from my parents:

"Before you were diagnosed with this disease, the flu was going around the house I think in February. Well. everyone got better except for you, you kept on getting worse, started losing weight and missing school, on the days you went to school chances were I had to go get you. Finally I took you to the Doctor and there was where we found out you would be going  to the hospital because your blood sugar was around 840. I called dad to let him know and away we went to Riverside hospital in Mpls. That is where the education started and our love for Dr Larson and his nurse Colleen grew. Although you were so excited having your own hospital room and tv ( the other kids were jealous, worried but jealous). I can remember you had to learn how to do shots with an orange and you seemed to have a wicked gleam every time you poked the orange. I would have loved for you not to have to go through this but, it was a good education and it helped the whole family to learn that when you have a medical problem learn about it.

Your dad and I felt scared at first. We didn't know about diabetes except for type 2 which I had since about age 23. I really didn't know type1 existed. The learning process was very strange because of learning about the honeymoon phase and then how diabetes really comes to pass, Then comes the mixing of the insulin. Then needles and strips, and pumps, but that (the pump) came when you were older. Dad came to as many appts. as he could. He was supportive but as we learned it didn't get any easier watching our little girl do shots. But you seemed to grasp it really well but then again you were older. It was very much life changing but I feel that Heavenly Father had a plan for you. Hind sight being 20/20 I know he chose you to go through this for our family to help us become more aware of things and change. The time I was really scared I think you were 18 then and ended up in the hospital. But with the Lord's help we made it through . It also made your dad and I closer to God. We had to rely on him a lot back then and even now."

There you have it all! That's my diagnosis. Does yours sound similar? What did you and your family go through? I will be forever grateful that Heavenly Father placed me in such a supportive family. I had so much love from them when I got home. Feel free to share your story too!
Have a great night sweethearts! 

The Who and Why!

Hi there! My name is Laura Elggren, and I am a Type 1 Diabetic. I was diagnosed about a month after my 12th birthday on April 10, 1995. Yep, I'm getting to be an old-timer veteran! I am even getting the gray hairs to match too. I wanted to introduce myself, my little family, and tell you what on earth possessed me to start writing about the T1D aspect of my life. 

First thing: 

This is me. I'm 32 years old. I was born and raised in the good old state of Minnesota. Yah, you betcha!

 I moved to Utah about a year after meeting the dear man who would become my husband, best friend, and partner in crime. He is one of my greatest supporters in my T1D adventures. We will be married 10 years come this November! (Insert fist bump!)

We have 1 daughter, age 4, and she is the joy of our lives! She got all our good genes. She's smart, beautiful, and opinionated. She is truly our miracle!

Now, what am I doing starting something like this???

I love to journal. I do it in lots of different ways. I have my conventional handwritten journal, my scrapbooks, my family blog, etc... I have been thinking for a while now that I don't have any kind of journal for T1D events and challenges that I have. A lot of them haven't been written down. I had my 20 year diaversary in April of this year so I wrote about that on our family blog, but other than that I don't write much about this hugely important aspect of my life. It is time I did. I have been greatly touched by the stories of so many families. They inspire me! I hope that maybe my experiences can lift and inspire others in return. T1D is such a complex disease to have and none of us can get through it alone.

Thanks for reading! Let our adventures begin!